As tough as can be

More often than not we, as a family and individually are commended for our strength. And, I guarantee we all appreciate the support and kind words. Thank you. 

But, I cannot let that be the end of the story. So, let me set the record straight.

Strength does not mean that we make all the right decisions. It doesn't mean that we face every challenge with grace, dignity and peace. It does not mean that we consistently "teach" cancer a lesson, sometimes cancer reminds us of its control. 

Strength means falling apart, but knowing that you're gonna stand back up...maybe in an hour, maybe in a couple days. Strength is not found alone, but with the support and love of others (some who have walked so many steps by our sides and others we randomly come across while living life). 

Everett was a good example of this real strength yesterday at clinic. He has been doing amazing at allowing the nurses to access his port (an uncomfortable process in which a good sized needle is poked into a spongy circle under his skin that then delivers chemo and other meds throughout his body. It's also where they take blood samples). 

So, Everett has been sitting in a chair all by himself the past 2 or 3 visits to get accessed. This is very commendable for a 3 year old to be able to do. It wasn't without squirms and telling us that he didn't want to do it, but he did it and he didn't need us to hold him (or hold him down, ugh). 

But, yesterday, we did have to hold him down. He just didn't want to do it on any level. And, after he was accessed, he was sad. He showed his sorrow and he showed his need and desire for love.

But, he went on...he had a spinal tap to get through. That part was easier for him and he made a comment that his doc dresses up as a banana to give him meds. 

He recouped from the sadness that a challenge such as this brings and with some love, he kept going and he laughed when he could. That is strength.

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We are often mislead, not because we don't seek the truth, but because the truth isn't shared. That helps no one. I want to learn from others and I want others to learn from us. There are so many great byproducts when we open up and share.