Five days before our next visit, Ev asked when we would be visiting Riley again. I was surprised he asked because he never has. It always seemed as if he liked not knowing. But, now he wants to know, so I told him. And inside I was cringing at the thought of the added anxiety that would come because of it (for him...and me). But, no anxieties came. Three days out he asked again and he was still ok. Then he asked the day before, and no anxiety...just a testament as to why he doesn't like to go.
Ev was more aware of this visit before and while in clinic, and it didn't seem to add any anxiety. It was a good visit. He actually helped access his stuffed animal snake, which was so cleverly named "Snake-Snake."
So, as he was receiving his chemo, the snake was too.
The beautiful and painful part was that he didn't want to access Snake-Snake's port at first because he knew it hurt. But, we urged him to give it a go and he seemed to find it helpful.
I don't know if Ev saw the snake as sharing in his pain or if it was helpful to be the one giving the poke rather than the one receiving it. Either or both, it was a good thing. And a bond was made for Ev with his new stuffed animal. Snake-Snake did not leave his side that day and I don't think it will any time soon.
My big boy is learning about his sickness in a new way. He's no longer just putting up with it and giving into the distractions we throw at him, he is beginning to really see and understand it.
