Another false start

Ev was scheduled to get a spinal tap and start two chemo meds today, but his body had other plans. His ANC is at a whopping 100, so there will be no chemo for a week in hopes that his body will rebuild.

Along with the distribution of one of the chemo meds is a hospital stay at least 4 days long. So, we just side stepped a hospital stay as well. That is, until next week. So, again, we will change our calendars and perhaps he will be done with this interim maintenance by Thanksgiving.

This craze of not knowing what tomorrow will bring is reflective in all of our lives. But, I believe with cancer and perhaps other illnesses, this is intensified. Rather than thinking in years, with cancer you think in days, weeks, or if you are fortunate enough, months.

I have gone from feeling that I can control almost everything in my life to realizing I must submit to what each day brings or be buried beneath it. I have gone from fearing and evading thoughts of death to embracing it and placing more importance on what I decide to do with the time that is before me. And because of this I feel more alive than I have in years.

I will no longer waste my time and energies. I am able now and who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. We value them all!