Halloween at Riley

Our camera has been out of commission for awhile. Honestly, it's almost worse than the camera on our phones. But, as I was trying to de-clutter our house today I came across the wretched camera. I looked at the last photos that were taken and they were of Everett's 2nd birthday party. I almost lost it...that healthy face, no presence of emotional or physical scars and a head full of shiny blonde hair. I stopped looking because I could remember the day well enough on my own. I also had to stop feeling sorry for Ev, myself and our whole family. We aren't at the mercy of this cancer and therefore can not feel sorry for ourselves. Even though the rippling effect of cancer can steal moments from us, we still work hard to get them back and find new ways and new moments.

Ev has successfully gone through the first half of his interim maintenance phase and I am thankful. It was not without issues and moments of concern, but he made it through. There were a couple of times  in the hospital that he told me he was sad. One of those times, I told him I was sad too and he told me that wasn't ok. He told me I had to be happy. So, I lied and told him I was and he was content. The silver lining in moments like this is that I do have the power to lift his spirits and that at times he will mention people who he thinks of as happy. He'll say, "Mommy, I'm going to be happy like daddy."

In a months time we will have two more scheduled admittances for high-dose methotrexate and vincristine. Also, in the next week he will get a new port (this was the root of the issues we've been having). So, Halloween will be at Riley and Ev wants to be Batman. Lets hope he doesn't break another line when he turns into Batman while attached to his fluids and meds. Kids...super heroes, were never meant to be tethered to anything and he reminds us regularly.